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Why »Any-key«

Expression »press any key« derives from PC and software manuals, resp. It should just be pointed out to select just one key of the keyboard and hit it. This inconspicuous expression had yet driven to despair the employees of Compaq's phone hotline. Because all the time upset PC users called up having searched in vain for the [ANY] keys of their keyboards. Therefore, in up to date user manuals (of other manufacturers, too) this expression is often replaced by »press return« or »press enter key«.

(Well, all of us have started in that way ;-)

(N-)Ostalgia - Any comment?!

Markt und Technik 50/1998, p. 1

Eastern Germany, the German Democratic Republic (German: DDR), has reunited with the Federal Republic of Germany in 1990. The whole GDR? No, a small village just before the Polish frontier offers fierce resistance to the West-Rambos. Support and economic base are the

DDR and GDR - SDRAMs

The international brand is known as GDR-SDRAM = Gemini Data Rate-SDRAM (gemini = twin), logo: hammer and compasses.

Vorwärts immer, rückwärts nimmer (Engl.: Get on always, get back no way): »DDR2«, »DDR3«, »GDR3« and so on are already available. GDR still alive!

Exposé strikes decades after: In 1961 GDR chief Walter Ulbricht didn't tell a lie when he proclaimed:

Niemand hat die Absicht eine Mauer zu errichten!

(False English translation: Nobody (German: Niemand) intends to build a wall) just shortly before the Building of the Berlin Wall. Now it's clear he was talking about government building chief officer Dr. Karl-Otto Niemand, head of the Sozialistische Bau Zentralamt SBZ (Engl.: Socialistic Building Central Authority). (Later in the 1970s Dr. Niemand emigrated to West Germany and rendered outstanding services to the nearly natural integration of the Main Danube Canal between Nuremberg and Beilngries. At present according to certain rumors he is supposed to be the gray eminence behind the project Stuttgart 21.)

AEnemy mine - Enemy by do-it-yourself

Exercise demands were the reason to fire off a torpedo supplied with an explosive warhead from a warship on the high seas. Because of a fault in the torpedo drive it remained in the launching pipe. The captain decided to return to the base harbor to save the torpedo there. Shortly afterwards, the ship was already homeward bound, the torpedo exploded.

What had happened? Safety reasons had forced the torpedo developers to take precautions ensuring whenever a torpedo returns to its launching device it will not destroy the own ship. An inertial navigation system checks whether the line of fire receives a turn of 180° and so, if necessary, makes the torpedo detonate immediately and therefore within a sufficient distance to the own ship. This mechanism had already been activated in the got stuck torpedo and as the ship had done its turn - bang!

According to Thomas, M., Should we trust Computers? in: SHARE Eur. Assoc., Nijwegen (Netherlands), 1988, p. 161pp
(Thanks to Dr. D. Reinert, BGIA - Berufsgenossenschaftliches Institut für Arbeitsschutz)

Anything is rotten in the State of Bavaria!

(by Shakesbeer ;-)

Ecology made in Bavaria, yet it flourishes in secret

Enjoy the wood-study-path

Engraved with a little lack of piety
Nur kompostierbare Abfälle
(Engl.: For mixed manure trash only) is demanded at the graveyard in Neunhof near the City of Lauf.

Obviously artificial limbs have to be disposed separately. The collection of
Nicht verrottbare Abfälle
(Engl.: Not rotting trash), however, is just placed close up.

No trespassing on both sides!

Exciting - and this is really the
Beheiztes Terrassen-Freibad
(Engl.: heated public terrace baths) as the sign near Hirschbach/Oberpfalz says?

Just nasty: Always with a pot to the plant...

Effluent of the municipality of Diepersdorf had been led uncovered through a wood area into a brook for decades, before in the late 1990s a suitable sewage plant was built at last. In the beginning still near a road the stink wasn't to stand, therefore later the slop (detergent residues!) was just led deeper inside the wood. The trees close to the waste water died shortly afterwards. That didn't prevent the nature conservation authority from setting up signs »Geschützter Landschaftsbestandteil« (Engl.: protected part of countryside). Well, it is told that some germs exist which even live on hydrogen sulphide. And these ones need a biotope, too.

Ecological well integrated all seasons all weather cycle track:
In case of flood one has just to swim across the pond
- or are pedal boats available?

Over Weiher (also Engl.: pond) in case of flood

In the course of ecology the construction of cycling tracks really is to appreciate. But when like with the route from Lauf to Leinburg a 30 m wide and never ending extra swath is to be cut along the country road, the whole thing anyhow is counterproductive. Especially because there are already best paths through the forest in short distance to the road.
Perhaps the money would be better spent in maintaining existing cycle tracks where one finds on 100 meter length all Middle-European tar types - unfortunately not only side by side.

Out of the Centenary Calendar: »Thunderstorms in May blow April away.«

Brave new world

newspeak: memory hole

Eminent, Orwell's litter bin out of 1984 has just reached us. Open flap for thermal disposal. Well, 1984 is already gone with the wind.

Just because we are at the appropriate movies - obviously it isn't just one giant leap, but a small step to Soylent Green only:

Existing resources should be used in an optimal way,
however, won't it really be worth a deeper thought, if
the gourmet temple lies close to the boneyard
(City of Lauf, quarter Letten - Abdeckerei)?

Or the advertisement for changing private teeth gold to money on the newspaper page with the obituaries (Fürther Nachrichten, 24th April 2010).

Elsewhen there was the collection for »Unser Dorf soll schöner werden« (Engl.: Pimp up our town - well - Let's get our town nicer) with some matchbooks to be found in the collection box.

From the gastronomy

Experience globalization - offer in a supermarket in one of the largest wood and wilds region of Germany »Fresh New Zealand deer meat preorder now for Christmas«.

Road to heaven?

Street of no return:
One way street to the graveyard

(You reach the Buddhistic grave
yard passing the roundabout ;-)

Enjoy the menu of the faraway inn: »Venison fresh from the country road«
and the vegetarian brunch: »All what the lawnmower yields«.

Extraordinary customer service - the industrial bakery has provided its baked goods with meat garnish, and that virtually governmental sanctioned. Unfortunately bugs, insects, rodents and their excrements are not everybody's taste.
Well, have you already considered what a corn harvester just soaks in - just from sand to complete deers?!

Elude the last tip of the nutrition consultation: »Death caps stop aging process.«

It's all over now

Ebbing all hopes by official statement:

[...] You can withdraw this right to life insurance benefits at any time; after your death it cannot be withdrawn.

In the fine printed contract parts of the Versicherungskammer Bayern (Engl.: Insurance Chamber Bavaria), 2006

Any other complications ahead?

Governmental clearness

Easier than you think - help in simple words:

The period of time for the institution of a legal remedy is one month. It starts with the end of the day this decision was made known to you. By sending a standard letter or by delivering a registered letter the publication is thought to be caused with the third day after giving it into mail, but not if the decision has been forwarded at a later point of time.
Hint: As far as the revenue office has taken a decision which has been hit in a basic decision as a basis for this decision, the decision cannot be appealed from the argument that the decisions having been hit in the basic decision are inapplicable.

From: Decision for legal advisory instruction of the revenue office, Bavaria in July 2001

EC directives - how I love ya!

Established to make it easier:

God's ten commandments contain 279 words, the American Declaration of Independence 300 words, the directive of the European Community about the import of caramel bonbons, however, has exact 25 911 words.

Lutheran info paper idea, Wetzlar in: P.M. 4/82, p. 79

European EC directive WEEE 2002/96/EC (Waste Electric and Electronic Equipment), a rule covering the waste disposal of these devices in the whole European Community, should have been established. Unfortunately the transfer in national laws didn't happen in a homogenous way, manufacturers have to submit permission proceedings differing from country to country.
Thanks to modern techniques in some cases it works with the Internet, for instance in Finland. For all of those not capable of Finnish additionally the documents are available in an alternative world language - Swedish.

EC bureaucrats have struck again after fixing the radius of curvature of cucumbers (no, not a joke, refer to »Commission Regulation (EEC) No 1677/88 of 15 June 1988 setting the quality standards for cucumbers«): In accordance with their ideas cherries must have a diameter of 22 millimeters (about 0.978 inch) at least in order to be actually valid. In the decades or even centuries old arable land for cherry trees in Franconia, by the way the largest in the EC, traditionally natural sorts with smaller sizes are cultivated. How to call them now with EC concurring expression - »stone fruit formerly known as cherry«?

Second helping

Enlightening, isn't it?

In the same way touchable metal parts do not count as touchable metal parts, which in case of an insulation fault could carry voltage, if they are shielded from active parts by metal parts, which are connected to a protection plug or a protection contact, or which are separated from active parts by double or enhanced insulation.

From: WEKAPraxis, norms at a glance - DIN EN 60 309-1, section 10

Is anybody interested in pain?

Entering this defile... On the wrong track: The new built cycle track of the City of Röthenbach a.d.Peg. On a long heavy inclined wooden bridge it crosses the Röthenbach (a brook) with waterfall. Shortly after the opening the untreated timber did what ecological products are appreciated for, it rotted. Therefore cycling had to be prohibited due to risk of skidding.
The Bahn (= German railway) wanted to be in no way inferior. The peaks of a metal grating fence accompany one always pretty in eye level.
As climax during a certain span of time a firmly mounted dustbin decorated a risky bottleneck additionally.

Secondary function: Hand punch

Embarrassing - a rhino shaped stapler of a really ordinary stationer's shop (no, not S&M). Probably to archive agreements including harsh compromises.
Do you think it is worthy to carry the GS label (Geprüfte Sicherheit, Engl.: proofed security)?
I'm not sure whether even there isn't a special edition made of pine wood.

Ever rebuilt your home, too? Then you know also why many craftsmen measure with inch rulers. Centimeters or even millimeters are just to precise. Note: If the beer bottle doesn't roll away, it will be horizontal. Period.

Other ones are afflicted by a tsunami, a tornado or a hurricane like Katrina (and the Waves). For me craftsmen are sufficient enough...

And just a remove? »Three removes are as bad as a fire«. (Benjamin Franklin)

Harakiri for losers - well - beginners!

Especially designed for a child's hand? The hobbyist's knife with rim nut to fix the blades, either in the U-shaped grip or opened. A right hander will be hit, when fixing and a left hander will be hit, when loosening the blades in cutting position. The distance between the razor-sharp blade and the rim nut is not more than five millimeters (about 1/5 inch). Probably the handle is red to avoid blood attracting too much attention.

Eagerly mankind has waited for some hundred thousand years: The razor with 5 five blades and the electric toothbrush with LCD display.
Just even now the net toaster with Java Beans client and the webcam inside the refrigerator to check whether the light is really off when its door is closed, and we are ready for the future.

The business idea: What's about a camera in the mobile phone switched on and read out externally? One could use this feature as video pager and then can check where one lost the app. (Hackers already do that more or less ;-

Besides I need a shaver with GPS in order to twitter how many square inches I have cropped today and to post in the blog in which area it is working just in this moment.

Anything is going wrong!

Explains a lot:

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Douglas Adams in: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Part 2: The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Emitted by Old Bismarck already: »I dislike the whole direction.« Or in modern terms in Der Schuh des Manitu (Engl.: Manitou's Shoe; the most successful German movie - a comedy): »I'm dissatisfied with the complete situation.«

The Best story of my life. One and a half page in typescript perhaps. Author forgotten; read in the newspaper. Two serious sick men in the same room. One lies near the door, one near the window. Only the one at the window can look outside. The other one with no greater desire than to get the window bed. The one at the window suffers from this. To compensate the other one he tells him daily for hours what is to be seen outside, what is happening outside. One night he has a suffocation attack. The one at the door could call the nurse. Doesn't do it; thinks of the bed. Next morning the other one is dead; suffocated. His window bed is left empty; the one who lies at the door up to now gets it. His wish has come true. Eager, hopeful he turns his face to the window. Nothing, just a wall.

Wolfdietrich Schnurre in: Der Schattenfotograf (Engl.: The Shadow Photographer)

Windows - 7 with one stroke
(No, not with the Any-key!)

Anti Windows Fall (or Frustration ;-)

Eagerly wanted the AWF (Anti Windows Fall) key - will it come to replace the »ape grip« [CoNTRol] [ALTernate] [DELete]?. Microsoft's marketing would be cheering: »The Millennium improvement - a quantum leap in user-friendly design! No fear of computer crash any longer!«

Windows Embedded Standard 7: 1/286 of Windows 7?

Exposed: Windows Embedded Standard 7 obviously already operates in power saving lamps - these must boot at first, too, and there is a warm start as well.

»Hey, just say anything!« - »Anything.«

French connection

Empirically some kind of horror trip: Installing a French Windows version with a US keyboard. Just to mention »AZERTY« and the number keys with shift.

Bytes: octets
Keyboard: clavier (not: piano ;-)
Mouse: Mademoiselle?

And what's the meaning of »quitter« - »quit«, so exit without saving or »receipt«, after all exit with saving?

In different terms

Equal, but in other words:

How to explain »tatar« to a Japanese? It's clear: »Sushi made of beef« (sudden idea during the conversation)

The »cat« in Bundeswehr (= Army) dialect: trap, mouse-, cross-country (in reality there is available »trap, rodent-, small« only)

In the 2002 give-away catalogue of the company Oppermann: »Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher« (Engl.: ~ Predetermined eggshell breakingpoint originator) for an egg chopper (Who thinks out terms like this? A civil servant, who has been retrained to marketing?)

How to call a couple of blond models on the catwalk? Barbie-queue

What is the Bavarian expression for VIP (very important person)? Freibier-G'sicht (Engl.: ~ free drinks face)

Upper-Palatinate evenness: »The farmhouse isn't ruinous! The owners just haven't fixed anything during the last hundred years.«

A French colleague with an appreciative smile about Bavaria and the local way of life here: »The Mediterranean region of Germany«

In Röthenbach an der Pegnitz (east of Nuremberg, Germany) a big bridge, among others things over the commuter train line, is named after its really highly apprecited French partner city Les Clayes sous Bois. A challenge for the Franconian tongue. Therefore besides the onomatopoetic version »Scheiß-Gleis-Boh« (Engl.: ~ Shit-Rail-Road) also the sober alternative »Franzosenbrücke« (Engl.: Frenchmen's Bridge) exists.


There is nothing like an automatic translation: »Ausgezeichnete hohe Beschlussfassung Kamera« (Only to understand if you are good at German and English)

Anything, Else?

Not from the stork, but from LIEDTKE

A kingdom for an idea

Explanation needed: At the Wöhrder See, a lake inside Nuremberg, many swans spend the winter. Despite the cold two male swans got greedy. A female swan fled into the bushes at the bank, but got stuck so unlucky that I had to free the helpless bird with difficulty. Just when the lady swan was alone the males were after her again. A couple of people watched the happening with interest. A little girl asked her mother what the swans were doing. The mother searched for a childlike answer and gratefully accepted my spontaneous idea with a smile: »The swans are waiting for the stork«.

The clean room

Evil and dirty thoughts in the clean room: This sign at the door to the clean room unfortunately was necessary. Because the room just seems to have magic effects: Everybody just wants to throw a glance inside or just wants to ask a short question. Do they think clean room derives from »c'lean«, the short form of »come and lean in«?

Antimatter

Exciting dimensions in a technical drawing of an insulating foil: »Thickness 0.17 mm ± 0.20 mm«.